When Hollywood Gets it Wrong

 When Hollywood Misses the Mark

        "She's not my sister.  She's a fugitive orphan".  

        Parent hitting child in the head, "Yes, she is your sister.  Now do what she says".

        The adopted child says she wants to search for her first family and is told she is

         ungrateful and that it will hurt the adoptive family deeply, but they will help.

        "Puss in Boots, The Last Wish", is Hollywood getting it wrong.  When you have roughly 135,000 children adopted in the United States every year, we should be moving towards a place where a movie that is geared towards children, would be more inclusive of children living in foster and adoptive homes.  "Goldilocks" should not have to feel guilt about the natural curiosity that comes from being raised away from her first family.

        The mark that Hollywood is missing is the first family loss. At different parts of an adoptees life, they will wonder, question, and think about their origins.  Think about this. 23 and Me, the DNA Registry created to track our blood line and countries of origin, made 272 million dollars just in 2022.  In 2023, I will be joining those numbers to find information on my own birth father.

        Scripture is filled with genealogy.  In fact, the New Testament opens with it.  Matthew connects the dots of Jesus to Abraham and to David pointing to his promised coming through both biblical figures.  Our culture, heritage and lineage have a deep impact on how we view ourselves and our life choices. However, most adopted children do not have that information.  

        So, we have the hard conversations with our kids and with each other.  In the end, Goldilock's adoptive family has her back, so there is a bit of redemption there, but the guilt trip laid on was out of bounds and as a society, we need to do better.  Let's pray for the kids in care who hear these harmful words and pray for those in Hollywood to be better informed about these young minds and hearts.

The irony?

Goldilock's key phrase in the movie?

"That was not just right"

Big Feelings? Little Feelings?

Big Feelings?  Little Feelings? Everything in Between?

                                                                            Free Download! 

          We call it a heart check.  How does your heart feel?  Is it racing or relaxed?  Look at your hands.  Are they shaking or still?  What about your stomach?  Do you feel butterflies or is it calm?  These are all good inward checks that we use to keep anxiety away, or be able to express it.  It could be first day jitters, or recital nerves, or maybe a fight with a friend or sibling.  

          One of our biggest tools is our heart check-in board. During self reflection, it is easier for children to see options and grade what they are feeling.  From there, you have a springboard to talk about why all of these big or little feelings are in your life.  Kids who have experienced loss may not know or understand how to process the trauma they have endured so just knowing that there is a struggle is the beginning of diving into the origins of the emotions.  

          The famous weeping of Jesus in John 11:35, and the anguish He felt in the garden in  Matthew 26, both show us that powerful feelings and emotions are not sinful. It is where we put them that shows our heart. Moses' social anxiety from his adoption left him feeling as an alien in both the Israelite and Egyptian circles.  Later, his loss came out as inferiority when the Lord asked him to go to Egypt and his response was, "Who am I that I should go?" Exodus 3:11, "I have never been eloquent." Exodus 4:10, and "Pardon your servant Lord, please send someone else." Exodus 4:13. I would be hard pressed to find any soul that has not endured some sort of this searing pain, whether it be from loss, or inflicted by another person, we all can pinpoint a time where the emotion was so strong that we we were sure we couldn't find our way out.  

          I am thankful that passages such as these show us the reality of life.  I love that the Lord didn't Instagram the Bible, letting us only see the beautiful parts while laundry is lurking behind every door.  He showed us the deepest flaws, the rawest emotions, and we find solace in that fact. When faced with the heaviness that life can throw, we see both Jesus and Moses having a conversation with the Lord.  It wasn't just blind faith. It was conversation.  It was prayer.  

           While using the tools we are given with our kids, the goal is to get them to seek the Lord.  When they are worried about their birth parents, they can pray.  When reunification is not certain, they can pray.  Maybe there is a big test in school, a friend hurt their heart, or they are just unsettled about life, they can pray. 

        Download this great tool for free and heart check your kids on a regular basis!  You will love the conversation it brings out!