Becoming a TBRI Practitioner has been one of the most eye opening, rewarding, and trauma informed trainings I have ever participated in.  It has unraveled my own childhood and revealed my parenting style.  TBRI has confirmed that what I do on a daily basis, from preparing meals to teaching my homeschooled children, is all stemmed from my own experience of being parented.  

My fear that I have for my children and their futures is all stemmed from the complete uncertainty that I felt as a child. 

Imagine.....you have no idea which adults will be there to provide the stability that you so greatly crave when you awake.  You have no idea who will be caring for you, or the siblings you care so deeply about.  It all comes down to you.  

Fear....lack of trust in ALL adults forms very quickly.  You find yourself parentified, blocking the trust you actually so greatly desire. It is almost a self fulfilling prophecy as you watch yourself reject the needs you want filled, but can't seem to allow yourself to be that vulnerable to let them be filled.  You quickly become known as 'self reliable", or "leadership material" when, in all actuality all that you want is for someone to make you hot cocoa and cut your sandwich into squareangles (which is what my 4 year old calls sandwiches cut into triangles and well.....he's not wrong.  

To the kids who seem like they have it "all together", take a bit of a deeper look.  While that might seem like a reliable marker on how well adjusted they are, it might just be that they are doing well at holding it together , and you may want to offer the hot cocoa and sandwich cut into triangles, and a hug wouldn't hurt as well.