Envisioning a Brighter Tomorrow: Hopeful Prospects for a Better Tomorrow

 Foster care is hard.  Adoption is hard. There is loss, there is grief, and if we choose to look away from that for our own convenience or to shelter ourselves means that we have missed the mark for these people.  It means missed opportunity to sit in the brokenness and find compassion, offer healing that only Jesus can bring.  

There are a lot of voices in the world who say there is no hope for kids in care or adopted people.  That the trauma that they have endured is so great that there is no escape from the pain of life filled with wounds and so anger and bitterness is the only path.  

Being a person who experienced loss at the early age of 2, then losing my mother at 13, I know loss.  I  understand pain.  Those allow me to feel deeply for those grieving, most likely more than the average person.  But the more pressing question, the question that should be burned into the hearts and minds of every Christian is, "What does the Bible say"?  

From Genesis to Revelation, God leads the broken.  Moses.  His mother, for his protection, abandoned him in a river, knowing that the Lord could protect and shelter him way more than she could.  He was brought in by Pharaoh's daughter and by what can only be seen as diving provision, was placed back into the loving arms of his mother.  He went on to make mistakes, but ultimately was responsible for leading God's people out of bondage. Esther.  Esther was adopted by her uncle after the death of her parents.  She grew in favor with everyone around her due to the confidence she found in her Lord.  Upon finding a devious plan to kill all Jewish people, Esther was able to uncover the horrendous plan and save God's people from destruction.  

The stories go on and on and give a clear picture of how the Lord can use, bless, and fill with hope, people who have lost their first families. I don't want to downplay the trauma that comes from care, or the many, many other life circumstances that can come along that cause pain beyond any human belief.  If you are so far gone in your grief, that you can't even think there is any hope in the journey, rest in this that is missing from the equation.  "The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit".  Psalms 34:18 Or consider this quote from Rick Warren: "Your greatest ministry will most likely come out of your greatest hurt".  Encouraging each other through the pains and trials of life is the only acceptable response.  How we inspire the broken speaks more than any knowledge we can possess.  

Merry Christmas!

      Merry Christmas!  We know that even at this time of year, your family dynamic could be changing.  We know the phone still rings with calls from the home finding unit through the whole holiday season, and as disheartening as that is, we thank you for opening your home, even now.  

     Last year, according to The Family Preservation Foundation, 437,283 children were removed from their first families.  That increases the number of of over 9 million children being removed in the last 20 years.  That is astounding.  

     We have seen families take in children on Christmas Eve, and our own daughter was placed with us on Easter Eve, several years ago. The way the community comes together during these times is such an encouragement!  We had a friend who went out that day and bought us a car seat. Having only hours to prepare to take in a child, especially during a holiday, adds a whole lot to an already messy situation.  However, there is a grace that the Lord extends in the chaos.  

     This season, as we look and see foster and adoptive families around us, let's find a way to be a blessing to them.  That might mean a perfectly timed card of encouragement, offering to make a meal, babysitting so the parents can Christmas shop, or just a listening ear.  There are so many ways to support our families, especially during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.   

     Finally, as we have children in our home who have lost their first families, either permanently, or for the time being, let's look at Jesus in the manger.  He was born for His last day, and on that day, the phrase He uttered, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me"? Matthew 27:46 shows great loss. That day, rather than on us, God poured his wrath on Jesus, who bore our judgement.  The agony that He endured can almost be felt as the words leap off the page. Jesus understands loss, He endured loss and the wonderful truth as we celebrate this Christmas season, is that He did it for us.  He is the Romans 6:23 free gift of God of eternal life.  This tiny baby, that so humbly came to earth in a dirty stable, surrounded by animals as he breathed his first breath, is the reason that we can bring hope and healing to whoever the Lord brings into our homes.  

     As always, we are praying for you and want to wish you a very blessed Christmas season!

     

 

    How do you find the message of the Gospel in one of the messiest situations you can find yourself in?  The same Gospel that preaches joy and peace, can it also cover the chaos that follows everyone involved in the "system"?  Can it reach that child who is in a beautiful new room tonight, with all new toys, clean bedding, and a soft rug for her feet, yet is crying herself to sleep because her loss was so great today.  Can it reach the teenager whose parent just overdosed and his grandfather just because his new father?  The scenarios present themselves differently in every family represented in care, but it all has the same outcome.  Sorrow. So how do we line up a Bible that instructs us to have joy in all things with a system that creates sorrow?  

    "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding". Proverbs 3:5 It's an easy verse to memorize, it's one of the hardest to live out.  We are so tempted to grab the reigns, yank the situation back into our hands and struggle with it until we hand it over to the Lord again and again.  The only hope and comfort that we can find when the hardest of life hits, is the fact that the Lord doesn't sleep.  He doesn't slumber. Nothing is ever a surprise.  We think so much with our finite minds that we can't even begin to grasp the power of His name, the marvelous things He has created just by speaking them into existence.  The same God of the universe is the same God who knew there would be a knock on the door today of the child being removed.  He knew that the phone would ring dear foster parent. He also knew that the child that you held so dearly for the last two years, will be reunited with his first family tomorrow, despite the fact that you are the only parent he has known. Even in the victory, there is grief because your new permanency leaves a mother, father, first family with deep loss.  

    "It is the Lord that goes before you.  He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismayed" Deuteronomy 31:8.  This verse is one of the most encouraging texts when it comes to the uncertainty of permanency.  On the days that court makes a decision that you believe is harmful for the child, or will cause her even more loss than already experienced, the reveling that takes place in the knowledge that the Lord loves that child so much more than you ever can brings great comfort. During the times you may not be able to provide the comfort and needs of your foster child any longer, you can be before the throne of God, praying for them, praying for their family, and find grace in the moment to let yourself grieve.  The Lord will be before you and beside you as you process the loss. 

  "You have turned my mourning into dancing" Psalm 30:11. Don't stay there.  Feel the grief, but don't stay there.  Allow the Lord to do what only He can do, and that is take the hardest of days or the most beautiful of moments, and grow you.  Let this season of uncertainty increase your faith as you learn to lean on Him.  The Gospel shows up in foster care through the beauty of selflessness, sacrifice, and love for the people around us.  That includes birth parents, case workers, judges, and everyone else that the Lord brings into your world.  Foster care is never just about the children.  It is so much deeper and richer than that.