When Hollywood Gets it Wrong

 When Hollywood Misses the Mark

        "She's not my sister.  She's a fugitive orphan".  

        Parent hitting child in the head, "Yes, she is your sister.  Now do what she says".

        The adopted child says she wants to search for her first family and is told she is

         ungrateful and that it will hurt the adoptive family deeply, but they will help.

        "Puss in Boots, The Last Wish", is Hollywood getting it wrong.  When you have roughly 135,000 children adopted in the United States every year, we should be moving towards a place where a movie that is geared towards children, would be more inclusive of children living in foster and adoptive homes.  "Goldilocks" should not have to feel guilt about the natural curiosity that comes from being raised away from her first family.

        The mark that Hollywood is missing is the first family loss. At different parts of an adoptees life, they will wonder, question, and think about their origins.  Think about this. 23 and Me, the DNA Registry created to track our blood line and countries of origin, made 272 million dollars just in 2022.  In 2023, I will be joining those numbers to find information on my own birth father.

        Scripture is filled with genealogy.  In fact, the New Testament opens with it.  Matthew connects the dots of Jesus to Abraham and to David pointing to his promised coming through both biblical figures.  Our culture, heritage and lineage have a deep impact on how we view ourselves and our life choices. However, most adopted children do not have that information.  

        So, we have the hard conversations with our kids and with each other.  In the end, Goldilock's adoptive family has her back, so there is a bit of redemption there, but the guilt trip laid on was out of bounds and as a society, we need to do better.  Let's pray for the kids in care who hear these harmful words and pray for those in Hollywood to be better informed about these young minds and hearts.

The irony?

Goldilock's key phrase in the movie?

"That was not just right"

Types of Foster Families

There are many places that a child who has been removed from their biological home may find themselves.  There is a team of people within Family Services aptly named, "The Home Finding Unit".  These are avenues and terms they will utilize. These all fall under the foster care umbrella.                               

Resource Parent (RP)-This is anyone being considered to provide care for a child coming into care, or a child who is already in care. This can be someone who comes forward and wishes to take responsibility, or it can be someone who is recommended by the birth parent.  If approved, and then vetted, the RP then takes specialized kinship classes or regular foster care classes while they have the child in their home. 

Kinship Care-Since The Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008 and then being reinforced by the Obama Administration, almost all homefinding units within Family Services have a team of people dedicated to finding someone known to the child(ren) coming into care.  This is important for a variety of reasons. 

• Lesser trauma being experienced by the child as the new home/family is familiar to him/her

• Allowed interaction with extended family and/or birth parents as kinship families can supervise visitation

• Stronger initial connection to the child and the case itself

• More support for the kinship family through programs such as, "Caring for our own"

Foster Care-Straight foster care is needed when there is not an appropriate RP available.  Foster parents must pass background, health and home checks.  Once approved and training classes are over, they will start receiving calls to have children placed in the home.  A RP can still be acquired, and will be actively sought out during the child's placement. 

Guardianship/Custody-While kinship and foster care are handled through Family Services, guardianship and custody are handled by the courts. The petitioner is granted authority over the child as the temporary or permanent parent.